Wednesday, May 30, 2012

how do I...

How do I get out of my mind? over-thinking, over-doubting...

I've been saving to write a post until after our first block of exams were over. I've been back at school for 3 weeks and it's gone by incredibly fast.  The final semester. Let me repeat that, I'm in the final semester of basic sciences. I honestly still can't believe it. It doesn't feel any different from the other semesters... new classroom with some new professors and a longer class schedule but its still the same: school, home, study, sleep. Not much changed, but everyone came back with their "A game". My whole class is working like never before. Besides having 2 full courses we are also taking the Kaplan course for 2 hours per day to prepare for the big Step 1 exam. Needless to say it's  A LOT of material to keep up with.

I'm not going to lie and say that I wasn't nervous for this set of exams. It's the last semester which brings on even more pressure to do well and obviously pass the exit comprehensive exam in August. I've been more motivated to study and found myself focused all the time. Deep down there was this question of can I do it? I got to this point but can I actually pass? be a doctor?

How do I get rid of these doubts? When will I start believing I can do this?

I think I will always have this doubt. But it pushes me to work harder, so maybe it's a good thing? Not sure if I am the only one feeling like this, nevertheless it worked :) I got a great start to semester 5 and it looks like I won't be going anywhere but home in August (if I keep it up).

comments are more than welcome. Have you ever experienced something like this?

PS. looking forward to some down time this weekend... possibly going snorkelling :)

8 comments:

  1. Hi IDL! I found your blog a while ago when I was researching on Caribbean medical schools, and I enjoy your variety of posts very much! I actually applied to Saba myself and have an interview coming up, and hope to be part of the September 2012 class. I also took my undergrad at UofT, majoring in immunology and health & disease (yay, HMB department lol), so I feel a strange connection to you and admire your perseverance over the last 1.5 years in your pursuit for MD.
    What you had described in your post above I can say that I've felt this way exactly in my last semester at UofT. The ending is bittersweet but being so close to the goal pushed me to work harder, like you had described. My mantra in life is to always 'think about the after' as in think about how happy, relieved, and free one would feel after accomplishing a grueling challenge. You already mentioned that you have snorkelling to look forward to on the weekend, and I'm sure there's more to where that came from after this semester and USMLE 1 is finished! :D Keep going!

    I do have a question for you if you don't mind and that is regarding the availability of residency positions for international medical students in US/Canada. I've read a lot of conflicting opinions on this matter and I'll admit the thought of not being able to find a residence post graduation after working so hard because of a medical education from an international school is daunting. I would like to ask you what your thoughts on this matter would be, and what do you think the prospects of this would be in 4 years.

    Thank you so much for your time in advance! Congratulations on making it to the final stretch of the basic science and best of luck on this semester's exams and the USMLE 1! :)

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    1. Sorry this is so late... I hope you are still following the blog. I definitely thought I replied to you as I remember reading your comment a while back.
      I am not sure how to answer your question as I have not really gone through the match experience yet. I have heard good and bad things about it... I think it depends on the strategy you take during your fourth year electives. If you apply to programs that are IMG friendly (ie are known to have accepted IMG students in their residency programs in the past) they you really shouldn't have much trouble with match - of course as long as you have competitive qualifications. With that said, does that limit your possibilities of where to apply? yes, of course. But most of these programs are great. In good teaching hospitals with opportunities to expand your interests. The most important thing is to have a focus on what specialty you want to apply and get amazing recommendations from important people in the field. Do something that would make your application stand out and trust that as people have gone through the process before you it must work if done right.

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  2. What happens if you fail the comprehensive? What is the passing mark on this exam?

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    1. Have you ever heard of the exam not getting approved by the board? After students write tbe exam? Is this a standardized exam?

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    2. passing mark is usually a 68% for the 'exit' exam. If you happen to fail you are required to repeat fifth semester on saba. The exam is standardized by the school - I am not exactly sure how they put it together but I assume that there is a question bank with pre-approved questions targeting all subject areas.
      hope that answers some of your questions.

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  3. I love reading your posts and it gives me so much insight on the island and how it all works there.. :)

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    1. So would you then repeat all the courses of the 5th semester or just the kaplan course for the prep? I heard how the exam was disapproved this time by the board because the professors a only chose questions which were directly taught to the students and therefore the class average after the curve was a lot higher than the national average..

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