How do you keep studying when all you have been doing for the past month is study 14hrs a day?
I find that by the time I get home I am exhausted. Drained of energy; my brain forgets the simplest things. I know it is time for a break. But how do I take a break without feeling guilty? without staring at the clock, without realizing I could have just read another 5 pages in the last 20 minutes I spent eating and catching up with the world around me. It becomes a viscous cycle. I want to study. No, I need to study. I must reach my goal. What happens if I don't? Have I failed? failed what? myself? I am not sure. I know putting this much pressure isn't healthy. After-all it's JUST a test, but then I am reminded by my subconscious: it's THE test. If I don't get the score I want on the test would all my sacrifices count for nothing? All the energy spent, money consumed, shutting out my friends (and sometimes my family - I am sorry.)... All this for what?
A dream.
Is it worth it? ...Yes. It will be.
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I felt like sharing this self-battle as I hope I am not the only one whose felt so strongly about something, someone, a dream....or anything. It's not supposed to be a pessimistic post, just a glimpse of reality.
PS. Thank you to everyone who has been endlessly supporting me with this crazy dream without questioning it - especially my family.
Breathe...
ReplyDeleteLISTEN TO SIGUR ROS "THE NOTHING SONG" YOU WILL FEEL BETTER
ReplyDeletestop whining...lot's of people would love to be in your position
ReplyDeleteYour English must not be good if you think she's complaining.
DeleteHi I got the admission to Saba for Jan 2013. I saw one of your post saying about 50% of the students failed one of the block exams you have studied for a whole weekend, does that mean more than half of the class repeat a semester? how difficult is Saba's curriculum compare to undergrad's advance level of science classes? thanks
ReplyDeleteSaba pass rate has been lowered to 70% (instead of the previous 75%). I think this has made an impact on the attrition rate, so it shouldn't be so high anymore. With that said it's still a hard school like every other medical school. Just get ready to work and you will be fine. In my opinion, adjusting to the pace was harder than the actual material.
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ReplyDeleteThanks for everyone's input... I did listen to "the nothing song" and it was soothing. I've added it to my study playlist :)
ReplyDeleteOn another note, this post had nothing to do with Saba University so, please, let's not turn this into another AUC vs Saba vs St. George debate (that is what valuemd is for). I am sure I would be having these thoughts regardless of the school I went to.
As your mother, I am - and always have been - fully supporting YOUR dream! Don't question yourself as you follow it, not many people get to know what they want, and most importantly, do all they can to get there. Keep studying and trusting yourself, all will work out.
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ReplyDeleteAs a current student at Saba, I must comment that all these "conspiracy theories" will continue to exist as long as people want to believe them. Yes, the passing grade has been lowered to 70, but I do not agree that the tests have been made harder to compensate. This is medical school. It is supposed to be hard. If you come here expecting it to be a piece of cake, you are coming to the wrong place. You will work harder here than you ever have and you will have to push yourself beyond any limits. Yes, profs have locked classes and kicked students out for eating. Is this so shocking? We are considered mature medical students - future DOCTORS. If you are late to a surgery or come into the OR with food - would that be acceptable? Habits don't form overnight, so the earlier people start acting with maturity, the better they will be in the long run. Just my 2 cents. And to IDL: KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK! I have been following your blog since you started at Saba and it is truly inspiring to see you studying for Step 1, and it motivates me to work harder :)
ReplyDeleteCognitive dissonance...Stockholm Syndrome
DeleteHello!
ReplyDeleteI was accepted to Saba's entering class of fall 2013, and I was wondering if you can answer some questions for me.
First; do you mind giving me an estimation of how much it costs (per year) to attend Saba (including tuition fees, living expenses, travel, etc)? I am aware that this question differs depending on the person in question, but I am just interested in having a general idea of how much it costs to help me budget for my educational expenses…
And last but not least; is it true that Saba planning on increasing its class size in the near future?
I look forward to hearing from you...
Congratulations on admissions!
DeleteI will try answering your finance question by approximating my expenses...
tuition: $11000
travel: (from toronto you can sometimes catch great deals ie $200 one way. Just monitor all online travel websites with alerts) I usually spend ~$600 on 2 way + $120 for winair (flight from St. Maarten to Saba and back.) hotel overnight in St. Maarten is not bad especially if you can share rooms with other students (Maho has student pricing. Royal Turtle Inn is cheaper and has breakfast included if you don't mind not being on the beach. Both are close to the airport).
Books: Textbooks are cheaper if you wait and buy them off of other students on the island or go to the library early and sign out the books before classes start. See if there is a Facebook group for your incoming class - usually upper semesters contact you there to sell textbooks.
Living expenses: this depends on where you live and if you are going to need a car or a bus pass. I lived within walking distance of the school and paid $650 rent + electricity + shared internet ($78) each month. I lived on my own so it was a little more expensive. If you share I know the rent can be around $400.
Food: I usually managed to stay within $50-70/week on groceries. Although I have to say I was spending less than most of my friends on food. I just tend to cook a lot (a small slow cooker and a magic bullet were really good things to have)
I would also put some money aside for going out to dinner and other expenses (i.e. running out of water - can be up to $200).
Hope this gave you a little bit of an idea. As for the increase in class size I am not sure. I know they have plans of expanding the campus and building simulation rooms where students can practice history taking and clinical skills on patients but that won't be for a while.
best,
IDL
Continuation…
ReplyDeleteI am not sure if you’re into classical music, but I listen to Bach, specifically “Sleepers wake,” Handel “The Arrival of the Queen of Sheba,” and “Four Seasons” by Vivaldi to help me focus on my studies. Check them out on youtube, I hope you find them helpful too! Best of luck…
A happy brain is a healthy brain. Take a break. You WILL burn out. Do what you can. During those 14 hrs of studying a day. Make sure you give your mind a break. Close your eyes and meditate or listen to music. Go for a quiet walk. Go for a drive. Exercise. Give your brain breaks to let what you just learnt sink in! You can do it! The fact that you are studying that much in one day, every day is amazing. I'd be interested to hear more about your study schedule.
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