Post block wave of joy

2nd round of exams are over! I was pretty happy overall ... really glad to see that my 16hr days of studying are paying off :) It really feels good to see some results (unlike third semester).

after exams a bunch of us went to spend the rest of the night at Well's Bay (the place where Saba actually gets a sandy beach when the tide is low... I have yet to see this miracle beach!). We had a BBQ, a couple of beers and a breathtaking view of the sunset with rolling waves. Pretty awesome way to spend the day after 3 exams.

if I went to a canadian medical school I would definitely not be able to see this... isolated islands have their perks, don't you think? 

:)

Block weekend once again...

I don't have much time tonight but I thought I'd share some pictures of Kim (my physical diagnosis partner) and I, smiling happily, after doing very well on our second clinical skill assessment exams (CSAs)!  This semester we get to 'play doctor' and learn some basic examination skills on actual people :) 

By far my favourite class.

Alright back to studying... long weekend ahead. wish me luck on tuesday!

Speechless

I loved last weekend. I felt the surge of curiosity and pure joy of exploring new places. I was left speechless...

My friends and I decided to take the challenge of climbing Mount. Scenery, a potentially active volcano and the highest peak in the Netherland Antillies Islands. It is one of Saba's tourist attractions and now I know why. 2877 feet up in the sky - literally - you can see the whole island of Saba and if you are lucky to get to the top when the clouds have cleared you can even see St. Eustacius, a near by island.

 starting our hike in the morning and we see this sign... only 1064 steps :)

 We came across some orange trees early in the hike. I decided to put my childhood tree climbing skills to use and get some fresh oranges for the road (thanks big brother for perfecting those when I was little!). They were pretty tasty, although my friends weren't too fond of them - I guess I'm not a picky eater OR I was just too excited to be spending time outside of the library

The actual trail to Mount Scenery was half under construction so we ended taking 'Bud's Mountain' back around to the Bottom village until we reached the mount scenery trail again... downfall of all this? Bud's mountain was sooo muddy.

This was on the Bud's Mountain trail looking up at Mount Scenery. Our goal? that tower in the distance at the very top of the mountain. The weather wasn't looking so promising at this point but we were all glad it wasn't fully sunny for the way up - it was hot enough!

It's funny though, I somehow still got a tan. Yay! UV radiation through the clouds. haha

We reached the rainforest/jungle part by this point. It made me feel so small. It was nice to be able to be part of nature again... its something about the smell of fresh vegetation and dirt.

You can see how high we were by now... almost in the clouds

...and the dreaded steps began...

and didn't end until the very top. Our thighs got a very good workout!

up in the clouds now :)

Climbing the last stretch to the highest point. This was the funnest part :)

 we made it! Mike was ecstatic 

.. and then it started to clear up and it was an unbelievable view

my hiking partner, Simi, and I enjoying our accomplishment. Climb Mount Scenery? Check.

Great spot for reflection and taking in nature's beauty. I will have to do this again before I leave the island

 the green lushes of saba. It is quite beautiful

back in the muddy trail on our way back down. Ankle deep. Mud is good for the skin, no?

we took the shorter, but under construction path back down because we started slipping (*cough* Mike *cough*) going back down. It was a fun route, trying not to fall through the cracks.

we made it back down and we were ready for some food!

So... if I haven't convinced you that I loved our hike last weekend here is a video I took at the very top.  

... I hope you are now packing your bags. Be adventurous.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” - Mark Twain

Reflecting in paradise

People find it strange when I tell them that I was looking forward to coming back to Saba... I really started to built my life here, calling it my home (away from home) and getting back into my school, study, eat, run, sleep routine. I've settled here and I love the experience... it's my paradise.

Since being back I've had my mind set on some school specific goals. My mom sent me an email a few weeks ago about reflecting on the past year and moving forward. It's a list of things from David Allen, the founder of "GTD: getting things done". An organization which talks about ways in managing your life the way you want to. He has some great ideas if you feel in reflective/goal setting mood. Anyways, I wanted to share his questions for the new year with you....

• What would you like to be your biggest triumph in 2012?
• graduate from the basic science program at Saba feeling that I have tried my best and feeling satisfied with my efforts for this part of my medical school journey.
• What advice would you like to give yourself in 2012?
• "when you think you've reached your maximum potential, you haven't. Keep pushing."
• What is the major effort you are planning to improve your financial results in 2012?
• hahaha. Try to stay as much out of my loan as possible. Student living is a pretty big priority
• What would you be most happy about completing in 2012?
• well I think this one goes along with the biggest triumph but I also would be ecstatic to finish a half marathon (one of the goals I've set for myself - will be running in October if all goes well!)
• What major indulgence are you willing to experience in 2012?
• traveling. Traveling is my addicting fascination. I love immersing myself into a different culture and experiencing different ways of life. I think it's an essential opportunity to learn about interacting with people and opening up to understanding the world. (I know this is a vague answer but I am thinking of doing a post after exams about traveling and what it really means to me -- I've been thinking about it quite a bit lately)
• What would you most like to change about yourself in 2012?
• become more aware of my surroundings and less clumsy in day to day tasks - I think they go hand in hand haha. I think I will keep the more personal ones to myself :)
• What are you looking forward to learning in 2012?
• integrating all my science knowledge with clinical diagnosis. I'm loving the application side of medicine!
• What do you think your biggest risk will be in 2012?
• hmmm. I think I will substitute risk with challenge. Soooo that will definitely constitute of taking the USMLE Step 1 test which will determine the rest of my life. Not scary at all, right? 
• What about your work are you most committed to changing and improving in 2012?
• more efficient study habits. I'm definitely getting the hang of "smart studying" but there is still a lot of work to be done.
• What is one as yet undeveloped talent you are willing to explore in 2012?
• I love the sound of an acoustic guitar but I don't come from a musical family so as a kid I grew up with sports and physical activity rather than music. I've given up on singing (trust me that's a good thing!) but maybe playing the guitar will be a thing I can try?
• What brings you the most joy and how are you going to do or have more of that in 2012?
• pursuing my dream...
• Who or what, other than yourself, are you most committed to loving and serving in 2012?
• 2012 will be about being selfish. Yes, I know this sounds like the 'wrong' thing to say but for those of you who know me will probably agree that it is a good thing. I've always been the type of person to go out of my way to help someone out - even if it interfered with some of my plans - so this year I am dedicating myself to myself. I need to focus on my goals... this one is going to be tough.
• What one word would you like to have as your theme in 2012?
• Passion. (strength and motivation with a pinch of zeal.)

Your turn to start thinking.

Think with your heart

I've been working on a more reflective post but until I wrap my head around how I want to phrase it I thought I'd share this interesting art work.

Take it as is. Intriguingly ugly-beautiful is the way I can think of describing it. Tristan des Limbes is an artist from Paris, France.

see for yourself

I wonder what the message really is...

I owe you - Responding to comments

First off, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has kept up/ discovered my blog. I have received so many comments awesome comments! So I am dedicating a post to YOU!
Here goes my attempt to responding to those who wrote to me... please acknowledge that the best way to get specific answers about Saba is to call their office in the states.

"Hi! I love your blog! I was wondering if by starting in January and if one is able to schedule to schedule rotations back to back if they would be able to make the match in March 3 years from when the started and essentially graduate in 3.5 years, instead of having to wait for the next year's match? I know Saba now has the 8 week Research Module and I was wondering when one would complete that, at Saba or the US, before or during or after studying and taking Step 1, and does it significantly delay when one can start rotations and prevent them from making the match and graduating in 3.5 years? I'm trying to choose which school and would appreicate any advice. Thanks!"

From my understanding, starting in January 2012 would mean that you would finish basic science in August 2013 (assuming everything goes as planed). Usually people take ~6-8weeks to study for step 1. The research paper is to be completed before starting clinicals - we have been told that they will not place you in a clinical if you have not completed the research module. Assuming you work on it until December 2013, the best case scenario would be to start clinicals in January. IF you do back to back placements (which would honestly be unrealistic because you want to have some kind of say on which hospital to go + moving from place to place) you would be able to finish by the end of 2015 and match to the July 2016.... I think. From what I have heard from upper semesters, I wouldn't recommend doing the clinicals back to back because you need time to settle in the new placement and you want to be a little picky with hospitals or location to get the best possible experience.

Peter & others..."why saba? as compared to other caribbean schools."

My reasons for choosing Saba were quite varied so I am just going to list them.

• small classes; better prof to student ratio.
• it is known to have many Canadian students (~70%) so my colleagues would be going through the same obstacles as I would be when we get to clinicals and possibly applying back to Canada.
• the island is small (I know many people would not consider this an advantage, but there are no distractions and its really safe) 
• if you are a nature junkie this island is paradise!
•  I had a really good friend attend here and heard about the school from him. Also having someone you know is nice to have at the beginning to help you get acquainted with the island
• they have a 98% pass rate on Step 1 AND a great record of getting higher than the average 220 score (I think the recorded average of the step 1 from Saba students is around 227)
• lower tuition (probably one of my top reasons) + it is OSAP approved for those of you in Ontario
• the application turnover/response is fairly quick if you had a last minute decision to apply
• although the attrition rate is high, once you make it through the basic sciences you are WELL prepared for the Step and clinicals
• Most canadian doctors I have spoken to have heard of Saba and have said good things about the students they met from there. (Saba also has the most Canadian placements out of all the other Caribbean medical schools)
• the smaller classes also make it easier to bond with your colleagues as well as upper semesters -- makes for great moral & academic support.
• it is accredited in all of the US (the other ones I know that have this is Ross and St. Georges)

Comparing Saba to other schools is really what you, as an individual, need to do. What is your life style? How is your ability to adjust to a small island life versus going to St. Georges where you have 200+ people in your class? The atmosphere on Saba is that of a small community. Everyone gets to know you pretty fast and you always run into your professors outside of class - gives you a great chance to get to know them and for them to get to know you as a social person rather than a student. Also, having such a small community allows for community development projects to be implemented fairly easily. Just last semester we started a program called 'Saba Girls Run' where we incorporate fitness with small interactive lectures on nutrition, self esteem and sexual education for the local teenager girls. A great opportunity to keep involved in community health.

"would you be able to give some advice on maintaining a long distance relationship?"

I'm not sure how to approach this one... I think that long distance relationships are never easy. Good communication, strong foundations, understanding, flexibility, caring and compromises are definitely key. I know quite a few of my good friends who have been able to keep a relationship while here on Saba. Long distance definitely accentuates a relationships' weaknesses and as long you and your partner are willing to put in the effort, you will not have a problem. At the same time, I have to say that compromises from their end will be more than from your end. Their understanding is important because your time will be taken up with studying - but as long as they know you came down here to achieve your goal (to study, to do well, to become a doctor) it will be fine! I know many significant others who have come down and visited for a week or so at a time and they probably understood our way of life down here much better. So, all in all, it is hard but doable! Hope this helps a little.
PS. Skype will become your best friend.

Vanessa said...
I was wondering if you could answer some questions:
Are there enough students who get accepted and complete their BS while earning their MD? (pre-requisites met, average MCAT, average GPA)
Is it possible and a good idea to bring your pet w/ you to the island? (dachsund)
Thank you

I have not heard of anyone completing their BS while studying at Saba. I personally wouldn't recommend this as you have enough work here as it is. I know of one person who did not complete their undergraduate degree and came straight here. Other than that I'm pretty sure most people have their Bachelor degree or more. As for the pet, there are a couple of students who have brought them. With that said, most are here with their spouses who can help take care of them. You need to consider that you are at school from 8-3 everyday and unless you live within 5min of the school it will be hard to go home at lunch and take them out (if it is a dog). Cats are probably easier. Also take into account the hot climate here and that it would limit your housing options -- you will not be able to stay in the dorms in first semester (this can be accommodated if you talk to administration but you will lose that bonding experience with the rest of your classmates). My opinion? they are probably better at home. I love my dog but I wouldn't bring it here because I know I will not be able to take care of it as it deserves.

well I think that is everyone! If I missed your question please leave a comment on this post and I will reply back, promise :)

Recovering

I know I haven't post in a very long time. I'm recovering...

Recovering from the 8 exams we wrote in the last 10 days of semester three.
Recovering from semester 3.
Recovering from eye surgery.
But presently, just recovering from christmas food :)

I've got one more week before going back to the rock and this break has been the most relaxing yet.
Semester three ended. That's all I can really say about it. It was the most stressful thing I have ever gone through - I am through and not looking back.
As soon as I got home I had an eye surgery so I was forced to relax, sleep and not do anything strenuous... It's harder than I thought!! After the constant stress of third semester sitting down and dwindling your thumbs for 4 days straight was frustrating. I couldn't really read or watch much TV so I was forced to sleep. (hahaha most people would not be complaining if they were forced to sleep.) Trust me, I wasn't complaining but I needed to get up and do something. It's weird that I started missing school, studying and... the island. I know, I know I wasn't expecting it either but I think it's become my new home and part of my new life. Yes, I admit that I am looking forward to starting 4th semester :)
So until I go back I have a whole list of things I'd like to do: more reading (you probably could've guessed this by now!), watching TED talks - I've come across some really cool ones which I will be posting here - and spending some time enjoying the snow that will hopefully arrive.

wishing everyone merry christmas/happy holidays!

Ramblings about a rant

I came across "Why you should not go to medical school - a gleefully biased rant" by Ali Binazir a while back and found it quite interesting so I thought I would share :)

As a medical school graduate, the author made his own comprehensive list of what it means to go to medical school:

Here are his ten reasons NOT to go:
1. You will lose all the friends you had before medicine
2. You will have difficulty sustaining a relationship and will probably break up with or divorce your current significant other during training.
3. You will spend the best years of your life as a sleep-deprived, underpaid slave
4. You will get yourself a job of dubious remuneration
5. You will have a job of exceptionally high liability exposure
6. You will endanger your health and long term well-being
7. You will not have time to care for patients as well as you want to.
8. You will start to dislike patients - and by extension, people in general.
9. People who do not even know you will start to dislike you.
10. You're not helping people nearly as much as you think.

The ONE reason he came up with for why you should go into medicine was...
You have only ever envisioned yourself as a doctor and can only derive professional fulfillment in life by taking care of sick people.

Definitely recommend reading his rant. Interesting take on the medical profession. Sadly, most of the things he touches on are true... like the fact that you will not have time to care for patients as well as you want to. However I would like to stay the optimist that I am and end with saying that you only need ONE reason to go to medical school. If you want it bad enough the rest become challenges that you want to improve when you become the doctor you envision to be.

During my first semester at Saba, I wrote down the things I wanted to accomplish in my life as a doctor. The things I would like to become or people I aspire to be like. I put it in an envelope, sealed it and is in safe keeping until I graduate my residency. I want to be able to open that letter and feel like I became what the 'naive' me  dreamed of - when I had the future in front of me.

So, yes, there are many many many hardships of going through medical school but you are giving up something for an opportunity to be happy.  I think that's a good enough reason. Fulfill your dreams, don't worry about the stuff in the way.

on that inspiring note,

goodnight

3.4 & a quick word

Block 4 of semester 3 is done. This means 20 days until home for the christmas holidays! I can finally say that these sets of exams went relatively well (much better than any of the previous 3 exams :) ). I might just survive this stressful semester - even though I loved the material we were doing... finally more clinically centred rather than basic details.

On another note, I was reading an interesting article today from the globe and mail (read it here). It touches on the concept of over-treatment in today's medical world.
Are physicians over prescribing medications? should we deal with the common cold the 'old fashioned way' - tea and a couple days of rest? Talk about over treating symptoms with drugs has been present for many years now and is starting to become a serious problem in some cases. (Over prescribing can lead to drug resistance).

I found it interesting how they mention we should regress backwards and limit our use of new technology and innovations in the medical field. I'm not sure how to respond to this. On the one hand, I understand that, in some cases, it is better to do nothing and let your natural immune system battle it out. However, if we start restricting our use of new discoveries and technology, what is the point of research advancements? with new ideas we have to accept their consequences/ side effects.
Do you see where the conundrum lies? When do we say that over-treatment is bad and that regression is good? is it a matter of cost and government spending? do we decide on a patient - by - patient basis where history of medical illnesses is at the forefront?

the dilemma is essential to medical care decision making. As a future physician, I'm not so sure I would skip out on a CT scan for a child with minor head injuries just so I can save money and risk missing something important.

where do we draw the line?  is/ will medical decisions always be restricted by money?
does the scare of being sued have anything to do with over-treatment? (eg. physicians trying to cover all their bases)

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this and get a discussion going. There are so many angles this can be approached from.

Midway reflection

On Saturday night our semester (3rd) hosted the traditional midway party. The whole school is invited to celebrate getting through half our basic science training here on Saba.

I thought this would be a perfect time to link in the reflection post I've been writing about for quite a while now....

Midway. I can't believe it. and then I think again... in less than a year I will be in a hospital as a medical student doing basic procedures on real people. My heart starts beating. Is it excitement? Beating faster. Is it anxiety? A flow of questions start rushing through my head. Have I learned enough to be able to do procedures on real people? Will I remember everything? Did I study the right way? What about the things I didn't really understand?... The more scary part is that some of those questions are answered by "no". The calming thing is that I assume every medical student that goes through this gruelling training has the same questions and fears. Whew! I am not alone.

But what if... what if I'm not ready? what if.

Clinical rotations are also supposed to be educational - hands on education. Putting students on the spot (and of course giving us the grunt work). From what I know about myself, acting in the moment and learning through seeing how it's done is one of my strengths and probably why I loved the lab portion of anatomy. I am hopeful that this will also be true in the hospital setting.

It's just so contradictory: on the one hand this 2 year basic science training is intense and seems soooo long from our final goal. But if you think of it the other way, we've only had 2 extra years than the common person on the street ... you can put a scalpel in our hand and we should be able to preform a tracheotomy because we know the anatomy. That is scary. Is two years enough? is it too much? Throwing ourselves into the hospital will be a steep learning curve, without a doubt. Especially because we will most likely be traveling from hospital to hospital for different rotations so we have to get used to each hospital, their doctors, nurses, protocols etc.

However, it's amazing how much I have learned and picked up in the last year. We had a bench-to-bedside lecture on the current research in brain tumour treatments on friday evening. We were honoured to have guest speakers Dr. Roger McLendon (Chief of Neuropathology and Surgical Pathology, Director of Anatomic Pathology Services, and Director of the Preston Robert Tisch Brain Tumor Center Tissue Bank.) and Dr. David Reardon (Clinical Director of the Center for Neuro-Oncology at the Dana-Farber Cancer institute at Harvard where he also teaches as an Associate Professor of Medicine). The 3 hour session went into the genetics, biochemistry, immunology and neurology of brain tumours and how you can apply the integrative information into actual treatments (and even patient tailored treatments). A very informative session which really showed me how all the separate classes I have taken can be combined and applied in the real world. I was amazed at how much I understood... and remembered! I guess all the information is in there - somewhere.

Don't get me wrong, I am not doubting my choice. I am more in love with medicine and more curious about how everything works (probably more than before, if that's possible).

But, that fear. It's real.